sweet goodbyes

Monday, June 20, 2011

Andrew made it through the night.  Second to last day of therapy.  I spent my morning with Jonathan during language enrichment at Haven 3.  I don’t know what it is about him this week but he has been incredibly calm.  I am wondering if he enjoys living at Haven 3 more than 2 or if he appreciates the structure we provide.  (They are renovating Haven 2.)  When it was time to play on the swing, I sat across from Jonathon and he looked at me for a minute, stood up, and sat on my lap and gave me the biggest hug.  It’s like he knew I was leaving, for a long time. 

After dinner, Charissa informed us that The Second Annual Graduate Assistant Olympics would be taking place at 1800 hours (6:00).  All of the GA’s were judges and the rest of us participated.  There were 8 events and Charissa organized it, so we knew it would be interesting and creative.  The point system was in kwacha and they informed us that it was subjective.  After we chose our countries, the event started with a torch ceremony, in Zambia they call flashlights “torches”-eh? 

The events were as follows: who could wrap a chitangee around themselves the fastest, how long we could walk with a basket on our head, 1 minute to write down as many tonguen words as we could, 5 minutes to put on every item we have bought from Mrs. Mona (Ian won- 31 items), Haven Trivia, mango tree contest, hairiest leg contest and who could impersonate a Zambian dancer the best.  After the deliberation, they announced the first, second, and third place winners.  Ben received the bronze chitangee, Anna received the silver chitangee, and Liz (me!) received the gold.  I believe I won them over with my “stanky leg” dance impersonation.

News just came… a toddler we have been working with these past six weeks, Andrew, passed away tonight.  Andrew lived at Haven 3 with the babies who have HIV or TB.  Andrew tested positive for HIV and recently, for Hep B.  He was taken to the hospital after refusing food for a couple days.  His sweet little body started shutting down one organ at a time. 

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Because I lived through today, I KNOW I am a stronger person. 

We had three hours of therapy this morning before our last lunch in Namwianga.  Leonard made us fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, and pumpkin cake, all of BWeave’s favorites.  After our delicious lunch, we shuttled over to Haven 3 for the funeral service of little Andrew.  I mentally prepared myself for the death of an infant for the past six weeks but I was not prepared for the death of a toddler. 

The first thing I saw was a circle of women wailing and screaming “Andrew” behind Haven 3.  Then Momma Cecilia came outside, the head auntie, and all the aunties quieted down and began to sing songs in tonguen while comforting each other.  After a few songs, the men that work around The Haven carried the little coffin to a wooden table in front of the aunties.  Momma Cecilia let everyone know that this was our chance to say goodbye.  The aunties began another song and walked around him, crying.  I wasn’t sure if I could see his sweet face again but after BWeave went, we all followed.  I am so grateful I made the decision to see him one last time because a calming feeling came over me when I saw him.  He looked peaceful. 

After everyone said his or her goodbyes, we walked down a hill to a cemetery (behind Haven 3).  Many songs were sung, many prayers were said, and then Meagan was asked to give an explanation of how he passed.  I can’t remember if I have blogged about Meagan before.  She is a 28-year-old American who came here for a mission and ended up staying four years and she comes back twice a year to visit.  She is considered the head auntie of Haven 3, when she is here.  It was very emotional for her and everyone listening.  Meagan was living in Namwianga when Andrew showed up on Haven’s doorstep, four years ago.  Andrew’s aunts came to the funeral but his father was a no-show.  Naiveen had the great idea of buying a huge bag of tomato puffs (his favorite) so we could burry his favorite snack with him.  Meagan put one of his favorite toys with him also. I have great videos of Andrew hoarding tomato puffs and fitting as many in his mouth as he physically could.

I didn’t know Andrew very long, but I remember his smile and his need for hugs.  I like to think that he is hugging his mom for the very first time today.  She passed away hours after birth.  Although he only lived four years, I believe it was his time.  He is no longer in pain and he is in a much better place. 

During the service, I noticed the tombstones behind me.  There were probably at least 50 tombstones.  I happened to be standing next to the seven babies who passed away in December of 2010.  I now have an even larger amount of respect for all the aunties of The Haven. Us, makua, come into their home, take their babies for just six weeks and then hand them back.  If I am this distraught after loosing Andrew, I can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to loose not one, but seven babies in one month.  Momma Cecilia did not shed a tear until the last moment when Andrew’s toy was put on his grave.  That woman is the backbone of The Haven. 

After the service, BWeave told us we needed to go love on some babies since it was our last day in Namwianga.  Naturally, I ran to Lincoln’s crib and threw him in my chitangee.  We played for the next two hours and watched our little ones eat snack, one last time. 

While we were on the porch, a woman walked up and asked for Dow.  Meagan said she was Dow’s mother and she comes every two weeks to visit him.  She walks miles and miles to see him for just 15 minutes because she has to make it home before dark.  Lauren said she overheard Dow’s mother putting his hand on her chest saying, “bama” for mother. 

Today was possibly the most emotional day that I have ever experienced in my life and I would not trade it for anything.  

sweet little andrew

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Today was our last day in Livingstone.  After our filling breakfast at the hotel, Reagan, Lauren, Ashley and I were picked up for the zip-lining adventure.  Tessa and Ben went the day before and said that it was definitely worth $40.  Tessa was terrified before and during all the extreme adventures but she said her guide gave her a pep talk that helped.  “Tessa, you do not have to do this if you don’t want to, but in your eyes, I see a thumbs up,” he said.  I love it. 

We got strapped up, took some pictures and I was voted to go first. The guide gave me a quick talk and then counted to three, I ran as fast as I could and jumped off the cliff.  It was absolutely gorgeous.  I bet Pa would have loved to be there with me.  The guide let me go twice so the second time I tried to run faster and jump farther but I still didn’t reach the Zimbabwe side. Reagan said that the 96-meter high and 136-meter wide gorge was bigger than she anticipated and she was incredibly nervous (visibly shaking).  It took her a minute to sike herself up for the jump but she did it… I was proud of her.

I need to blog about my market experience even though it was not the best experience.  First, I bought two wooden and cow-bone bottle openers for my dad and Grayson.  The market men hound you, beg you, plead with you, lie to you and attempt to rip you off.  I am pretty sure I was ripped off the first time but after that I just started telling the men that I didn’t have any dollars, pounds, or kwacha and I only wanted to trade.  I brought t-shirts; sweat pants, flip-flops, hair ties (incredibly popular) and pens (most popular) to trade.  Towards the end I was getting annoyed and asked the man if he knew the word “chill” and he said, “yes, breath in and out” and I said, “yes, do that” and he sat back down.  It was wonderful; I was able to look through the wooden crafts in quiet. 

Last night we went on a sunset cruise along the Zambezi River.  We saw hippos, antelope, numerous birds, and crocodile.  One of the hippos had the biggest yawn I have ever seen but I was changing my lens when it happened.  They served us appetizers and deserts, which was all included.  It was relaxing and we had perfect opportunities to take some photos of the sunset. 

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Sunday is Leonard’s only day off so we are in charge of preparing food and cleaning up.  Anna and I decided to make a big salad for dinner so we picked fresh lettuce from the garden in the back of the Hamby House.  A couple people from the medical mission showed up to get everything organized before the rest come.  A total of 200 people are coming this year to pass out medicine and a couple doctors are coming to perform surgery. 

Today was not the best day for news.  We heard that Andrew was sent to the hospital because he hasn’t eaten anything in nine days, Hamilton has caterax and is loosing his vision fast, and Layla is possibly deaf.  When it rains, it pours.  I was in a terrible mood so I went to see Lincoln.  He put me in a better mood for a couple hours until I got back and heard that Andrew’s veins were collapsing and his lungs were not looking good.  Please keep sweet little Andrew in your thoughts and prayers.  I pray that Andrew is still fighting when I wake up. 

safari and horseback ride

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Safari day.  We were eating our (complimentary) breakfast by 6:30 because our rides were picking us up at 7:20.  We drove an hour to the border and hopped on a boat to cross over into Botswana.  While we were in the middle of The Zambezi River the guide said that we were in “no man’s land”.  The center part of the river separates zambia, nibibia, Botswana, and Zimbabwe.  I was at a location in this world owned by noone… crazy.  Anyway, when we arrived in Botswana we went through customs, which was the sketchiest (for lack of a better word) border experience I have ever had.  I smiled at the officer, she stamped my passport, done.

Our guide drove us into The Chobe Marina Lodge (rainforest/African vibe) where we got on a boat for the water safari.  For the next three hours we cruised along The Chobe River.  The animal I wanted to see most was the elephant.  I knew I would see one but for some reason elephants never get old to me.  We saw numerous elephants bathing in the river and migrating to the shallow parts.  We saw one huge momma elephant with the tiniest baby elephant I have ever seen.  I saw hundreds of baboons, some of them were momma’s with babies attached to them.  We saw numerous fish eagles, hippos, lizards (HUGE lizards that swim) and birds of all kinds.  Dad- you would have been in heaven on this part of the safari, think bird island x 1,000.

After the water safari we ate lunch at the lodge then divided into three lifted jeeps with elevated seating.  Tyler and I sat in the back row of one of the jeeps and I constantly switched seats with him so he could get better footage for the video.  We drove from the border into The Chobe National Park.  For the next three hours we drove all around the park seeing elephants, giraffes, warthogs, empala, antelope, birds, and baboons.  At one point, a momma elephant obviously felt threatened by our jeep.  Her ears were flapping and she began to charge until our guide drove forward a little and she backed off.  Tyler got the entire experience on camera but he said he is going to have to delete our squeels… oops.  Oh, and nature called during our safari and I can now say that I have peed in the African bush (TMI, I know… but I just had to). 

After the safari we drove back to our hotel and a group of us decided to go back to Olga’s Italian Resturant for dinner.  Lauren and I shared the margarita pizza and bruchetta again… wonderful, as always.  Great food, amazing conversations, and interesting people was a great way to end our adventurous day. 

Friday, June 17, 2011

I am currently sitting on the patio of our hotel watching a meeting take place across from me.  Earlier, I noticed all the men in the meeting wearing tribal outfits and the women wearing elaborate, colorful, African dresses.  I started asking around and found out that the chief’s of all the tribes in Zambia are having a conference in our hotel!

We woke up and had a short-lived breakfast with Mark and Tyler before they caught a flight back to the states.  After, Regan, Cari and I were picked up by Livingstone Adventure for our horseback ride through another national park.  Little did we know, we were going back to The Royal Livingstone.  The stables where our horses are kept are inside the grounds of The Royal Livingstone.  That alone made the $85 ride worth every penny. 

I rode Terry, he was sweet to me but occasionally bit the other horses.  Thankfully, I remembered from back when I took lessons that talking to the horse and keeping a tight grip on the rains helps.  We rode all over the grounds of The Royal Livingstone and through a national park (can not remember at the moment).  After an hour we rode along the Zambezi River about half a mile away from Victoria Falls.  We came to a point where we had to cross a little pool in the river and the guide told us to kick the horse when we were about to walk in.  The guide went, I followed, and Cari was behind me.  The pool was deeper than we thought, including the horses.  Cari’s horse got spooked and fell in the pool, two or three feet away from the current.  Somehow she managed to pull her feet out of the stirrups and hold my camera high enough that it didn’t get wet.  Her horse got caught in the current and began to travel downstream.  One of the guides jumped off his horse and went to the water and grabbed the reins of the horse.  He was able to help the horse back up to the land.  All I know is that Cari stayed calm and collected and the guides completely lost it.  I don’t think that has ever happened because they were speaking in their native language and I could hear exactly what they were saying just by their intonation and gestures.  It was an exciting ride… never a dull moment in Africa.    

a sensory experience

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Today began our Livingstone get-away.  After breakfast, we piled in Kakhi-Jaki and drove an hour-and-a-half to Hotel Protea in Livingston, Zambia.  We dropped our luggage off and walked to Olga’s Italian Restaurant.  I was a little spectacle about an Italian restaurant in Africa but as soon as we walked through the gates, Regan and I looked at each other and just smiled.  I ate the freshest tomatoes on my bruchetta I have ever had and my lasagna came out on a wooden platter.  During our feast, BWeave told us unforgettable hilarious stories about her adventures overseas with Reagan and Ms. Shock.  After, a couple of us strolled back to the hotel with some stops along the way at craft stores.  Most of the crafts were more on the expensive side so we all decided to wait to buy anything until we saw everything in Livingstone. 

At 3:30 we shuttled to have dinner and high tea at The Royal Livingstone.  Round 2 shuttle saw three giraffes and a abnormally large baboon on our way.  Lauren, Charissa, Shanna, Mark, Tyler and I sat at this cozy room seating in the living room.  Huge stunning chandeliers, an antique piano (with a pianist playing amazing music only by memory), a spectacular view of the Zambezi River (you could see the mist from the top of Victoria Falls), dark wooden beams, beautiful bookcases and deserts you could only dream of or see in movies.  I had crème brule, a strawberry boat, a kiwi boat (my favorite), and a raspberry delight.  After we ate, we walked down to the river to watch the sun set.  On our way, we took some great photos with the baboons and the staff hired to keep the baboons away (with a slingshot- every 10 year olds dream job).  All I could think of while I was there was how my fancy, tea-drinking, British grandmother would have been so proud. 

After our fancy surreal day at The Royal Livingstone, we shuttled down to the bottom of Victoria Falls.  Ben, Ashley, Tyler, Mark and I ran across the skinny bridge and got drenched.  At one point, there were no railings and it seemed to be just Victoria Falls and me.  There was something so freeing about running across the bridge, screaming, and getting drenched.  If we were in America, the bridge would have been lit with ugly light poles.  Another moment when I have to remind myself that I have been living in Zambia, Africa. 

Today was a sensory experience.  I tasted desserts from The Royal Livingstone that my mouth has never savored.  I saw a path in front of me lit only by the moonlight.  I smelled a wood-burning oven 2,000 miles from Italy.  I felt my heartbeat over the bridge at Victoria Falls.  I heard a classical piano that took me back to colonial Livingstone.  I’m not sure how tomorrow is going to beat today but I need some sleep to get ready for it.

ahhhh-haaaaaa

Monday, July 13, 2011

This is the last week of therapy, how terribly and painfully depressing. We leave Wednesday for Livingston to go have tea at the Royal Livingston, see Victoria Falls, go on a sunset cruise and cross over to Botswana for our safari.  The pharmacy kids just got back from doing all their adventures in Livingston and Botswana.  They saw two lions, hundreds of elephants, giraffes, and many zebra.  Brian said they were so close to the lions they could see blood on their mane--- ahhhh can’t wait.  I requested a seat in between two guys, for obvious reasons.

This week, I am in the toddler language enrichment group with Cari, Anna, and Naiveeen supervised by Special K, formally known as Kara.  I didn’t recognize any of the toddlers because all of their heads were shaved, including most of the girls!  They are all just as cute as the first day I saw them.  During my interaction hour, I finally put Lincoln on my back in a chitangee.  Anna told me that we looked like we belonged together, and of course that comment had me smilin’ all day.

After dinner we had a meeting just to talk about what we have learned and if any of us wanted to come back as supervisors. I have signed up for summer 2013 when I will have my CCC’s! I would take a job at a school just so I could have the summer off and go… no joke. Then we all sat on the porch of the Hamby House and watched the Number 1 Ladies’ Detective Agencies series filmed in Botswana.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

When we were walking to The Haven this morning, we passed by a classroom full of students singing.  It was another one of those ah-ha moments, like… I can’t believe I am here right now.  Shanna said, “that’s how angels sing, I believe.”  So cute.  Love her. 

Last night Reagan (our OT) was telling all of us that we shouldn’t feel like we are wasting therapy time when we are just holding/comforting the baby.  Ironically enough, today Miller would not let me take my arms off of him.  He just wanted to be held, so I did… and then I took him outside on the porch and he fell asleep on me.  Then after lunch, I played with Lincoln for two hours and took some videos so I can show the fam.  I found out the adoption process… you have to live in Zambia for six years before the process even begins… depressing.  The only way I will be able to leave these babies is if I tell myself I will come back as a supervisor one day…. Wooooooosaaaaaaa. 

Tomorrow morning we leave for Livingstone.  I can’t wait to have a hot shower that is inside!  It will probably be the longest shower I have ever taken. Then we are going to have tea at the Royal Livingstone where we will hopefully see monkeys, giraffes, elephants and zebras.  Brain said they walk all over the grounds… Cameron had her sandwhich taken by a monkey last week.  BWeave said they had to hire people just to keep the monkeys away from the tables outside.  Then after tea, we are going to Victoria Falls to see the eclipse.  I will blog again on Thursday.  Miss y’all.

hips like shakira and legs like MJ

After Choma, Mark and Tyler asked if they could interview me about my experience thus far.  I hope I answered the questions like they wanted me to but it’s hard to reflect when I am still experiencing.  Tyler asked me why I thought this program was beneficial, how I have grown from this professionally, spiritually, why I thought traveling was important, etc.  After an hour or so, I joined the rest of our group and watched a movie on a projector, outside of the Hamby House. 

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Today was by far the best day in Zambia, thus far.  After breakfast, 30 of us (including the hoppers and ragsadles) went to visit Leanard’s village, Kasibi, about 20 minutes away in the bush.  It was a bumby ride but completely worth every pot hole.  He cooked sheemah for us and baked a cake that read “Kasibi Church Cake”, naturally.

It was a little awkward because Leanard only cooked for the visitors so the rest of the villagers didn’t eat.  They did drink the sweet beer that we were not allowed to drink (5 people in Choma died recently because of the bad water).  The food was great, as usual, and the experience was spectacular. 

While we were eating, 5 villagers started playing different instruments made out of wood and animal skin.  As soon as the drums began (gnoma), the villagers started dancing around in a circle.  Now, I know why every African-American in the states knows how to dance.  These little girl’s hips moved better than Shakira’s and the little boy’s legs moved faster than Michael Jackson’s.  As soon as BWeave and Dr. Hopper joined them, we all followed.  We spent the next two hours dancing around the band with the villagers.  The women tied chitangee’s around their hips to emphasize their moves.  I’m hoping Mark and Tyler got some good shots because that is a memory I would to watch over and over.  

additions to the family

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Shopping Saturday. After breakfast, BWeave and Dr. Tullos shuttled us into Kalomo for a shopping extravaganza.  Most of us were all on the prowl for chitangees and chocolate while Ben and Tessa searched for soccer cleats.  Ben was able to bargain his soccer cleats down from 200K to 65K (roughly $13).  We finally found some masculine chitangees at one of the “tents” Dr. Tullos brought us to.  When I say “tent”, I mean thousands of sticks put together to form hundreds of tents, with trash on top for shade.  The markets are what I like to call, the real Africa.  Namwianga is not luxury to most Americans but if you asked the average Zambian, I believe they would say that we are living quite nice over here. 

It’s always an interesting experience when we, makuwa, go to the market.  Makuwa is what many Zambians call “white person”.  As soon as the first “tent” spots a makuwa, they pass it on.  Before you even step foot into the market, everyone already knows you are there.  As you can imagine, the prices suddenly go up but some of us were able to bargain.  After we got back to Namwianga, Anna and I went to Mrs. Mona’s….again.  She said it would be 60K for a men’s collared shirt with buttons; which is only about $12…. Sold. 

We saw a substantial amount of progress with the little ones this week!  Many have began to crawl, turn over, walk, and talk.  Jonathan pointed to his nose on command last week.  That day was my favorite day since we have been here, I was so proud of him.  Leo is crawling, Victoria is sitting up on her own, Mary smiled (with teeth!!!!!!), Maureen said “auntie”, Nathan is socializing… it has been a great week!

Sunday, June 5, 2011

I finally started my Capstone research project!  I am administering the Becks Depression Inventory (BDI) and the Quality of Communication in Life (QCL) to as many college students as I can while I am in Zambia.  When I get back to the states I will administer the same tests to the same number of college students and then compare the results. 

Before I left I spoke with my friend, Rob Keener, who is getting his masters in history at Nelson Mandela University in South Africa.  I was telling him about my research project and he said I would be surprised with the depression outcomes.  As of now, he was correct.  I only administered the tests to four female college students but they scored in the severely depressed bracket.  I will be administering the tests after dinner every night this week, hopefully… so we shall see if the results will be consistent. 

Cara came up with the idea for all of us to run or walk a 5K while we are here.  We would go on the short walk and then head back on the long walk.  While many people were sleeping or doing their research at The Haven, Shanna and I decided to go on a nice walk.  We took some great pictures.  The weather is so nice (low 80’s), someone compared it to Texas in the summer and I immediately corrected her statement.

This week Cari, Anna and I will be in BWeave’s group (feeding/swallowing)!!  We get to do motor exercises and the Beckman exercises on infants… which I love to do.  It should be another great week in Africa. 

Monday, June 6, 2011

Our group this week is the feeding class with the babies in Haven 3.  We use the Z-Vibe, giggler, nuk brushes, pacifiers, buccal rubs, c-stretches, and the Beckman exercises.  All of these methods and stimulators promote motor strength and ability.  I worked with Joel, Martin, Adam, and Nicole.  Reagan, the OT coming, will be evaluating Joel for cerebrals palsy. 

There was an addition to The Haven over the weekend, a little girl named Ellen.  She is 6 ½ weeks old and weighs less than 5 pounds.  Her father died and her mother is in the hospital.  Ellen was born with HIV and TB.  BWeave called Caroline, our feeding specialist, because Ellen is having difficulty latching on to the bottle.  Keep her in your thoughts and prayers… she needs them. 

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Ellen has lost over a pound; she now weighs 2.4 pounds.  Yesterday, all of Ellen’s veins collapsed so they couldn’t give her any fluids through an IV but she went back to the hospital today and they had luck!  She has joined our feeding class and is getting pleeeenty of buccal rubbs and c-stretches.  It is still a daily struggle to keep her engaged and hydrated but as of this afternoon, things are looking up.

On one of our walks back today, Lauren and I heard screams so we looked back and Tessa was running towards us yelling, “snake!”  Ashley said she saw a snake about 3 or 4 inches wide and probably four feet long!  Good news… we’re all alive, bad news… Tessa has been on edge ALL day.

Harding University hired two videographers to come join us to shoot a documentary about the HIZ-PATH program, Tyler and Mark.  On their way over from the states, they randomly saw Emily Wiles (Rob Keener’s gf) at the airport in Johanesberg… crazy! She is on her way to visit Rob in Port Elizabeth, where he attends school. 

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Thumbs-up Thursday.  I have fallen head over heals for Lincoln in Haven 3.  His smile is incredibly contagious and his babbling is the cutest thing I have ever heard.  Lincoln rolled over several times today and is beginning to sit up on his own.  The videographers missed it but hopefully they will catch him doing it again tomorrow!

Today is Ian’s 14^th birthday!  After therapy we drove out to Jordan’s Rock for a campfire.  Naiveen and I donated one of our chocolate bars as a gift from the HIZ-PATH peeps… Ian was pleased.  We roasted hotdogs and Reagan brought stuff for s’mores!  Today has been one of those days when I can’t believe I am where I am.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Today is our last day in feeding (and trunk control) therapy and I am not happy about it.  We have seen so much progress!! Lincoln rolled over multiple times AND sat up on his own for minutes!  I am going to miss him so much.  Ellen has gained weight and is keeping formula down!  Dr. Weaver didn’t even recognize her this morning because her face has filled out so much. 

The videographers followed be around today.. I guess because I didn't go to Harding for undergrad... more stories to come.

Dr. Weaver and Dr. Tullos are leading a workshop this afternoon with all of the first year college students.  I saw an opportunity and asked Dr. Tullos if I could come and hand out the BDI and QCL to all first years (about 90) and he said that would be a great idea.  Now, I am just hoping that the copier works!  

Dad gave me the go to buy more internet... so I will post more often!